Forget Fame - A Tale of Delusion & Ignorance
- Shruti
- Nov 5, 2023
- 8 min read
Updated: Mar 11
The truth behind all desires
"A calm and modest life brings more happiness than the pursuit of success combined with constant restlessness."
- Albert Einstein
Much has been said about the age-old dilemma and tragedy of several human lives spent in seeking short-lived happiness through name, fame, wealth & other phenomenal desires without recognizing its futility. Yet, we can't seem to let go of this destructive pattern that is the root cause of human suffering.
If our goal is perennial bliss, we must understand the nature of all desires that seem to be standing in the path. In this article, we will explore the causes behind this common mental trap, how it can hold one back from living a full existence, and insights to preempt the habitual triggers that lead to it.
Our life is driven by desires. When we are kids, our desires are simple like hankering for our parents' love and attention, a meal, or a toy. Growing up, we start building an identity, forming ideas or beliefs about ourselves and our place in the world.
In our quest for stability, many of us develop strong ambitions to gain recognition. We dream of accolades, power, fame, or becoming a trend-setter to go "viral" in the eyes of the world, believing that these external markers will prove our worth. It all starts with innocently chasing a dash of approval or validation from our close circles and then the world at large, incorrectly expecting that this will somehow facilitate a feeling of completeness.
At the outset, this desire for prestige could look diverse such as recognition from our family and friends, from our colleagues, striving for good looks, coveting eminence, being seen as an intellectual, a great orator, someone well-traveled, or an accomplished artist. But they all point to a need for external validation.
Initially, fame seems like a good incentive to keep us motivated, and our ego identity remains actively occupied to constantly prove the justification behind this.
But what happens after we receive the popularity that seemed so promising? The fulfillment is temporary as all earthly experiences are served with a side of both pleasure and pain. We are subjected to a cycle of suffering and seeking the next best thing to pacify ourselves.
As we journey through life, we often discover that these grand ambitions were in many ways, an illusion. Most of us eventually learn through our life experiences that our true worth goes deeper than the glitter of worldly acclaim.
“Peaceful is the one who’s not concerned with having more or less. Unbound by name and fame, he is free from sorrow from the world and mostly from himself.”
– Rumi
The personalities that we remember and some that we admire posthumously today are those who are living or have lived an existence beyond themselves. Few of these unsung heroes were likely never revealed to the public eye and yet they were a precursor to significant positive changes in their community. These exemplars of living chose to spend time providing true value, more than self-service, inspiring generations to come.
A desperate pursuit of external validation can also be isolating when indulged in without awareness of the pros and cons. Some of us can invest years of our lives unevenly focused on our careers, perhaps neglecting quality family time or other opportunities for enriching life experiences. This is mostly in the name of a flawed "measure of success" that we see reflected in society. But in reality, it reveals the trap of unconsciously seeking joy in the outer world.
even if we acquire millions of "followers" or dollars, our outer circumstances may change, but it doesn't guarantee happiness if the environment within us remains the same.
If we cannot recognize our responsibility in deciding what we feel, no amount of external success can change the way we feel within. If we decide to be joyful even at our lowest, then that is a real sign of success, because we will have gained the most important skill in the world, to be happy no matter what.
There is ample proof of this in the globe today - no amount of fame and wealth has resolved the core issue of human suffering.
If we asked the current generation of kids some trivia on the most famous actors, or, sportspeople of the 20th century in their country they might not know the answer. Fame, money, looks, and any other material successes are wiped away by time. Everything we endeavor to create and leave behind will one day turn to dust.
Despite knowing the problems associated with material desires, there seems to be a constant pull toward these aspirations. Some of it comes from societal notions of what a successful life means. Pop culture and media often paint a rather glamorous albeit inaccurate picture of success with a luxurious lifestyle taking center stage. The more we are exposed to this, the more it feels normal to yearn for a similar ideal.
Craving or experiencing materialistic states such as status or wealth isn't inherently wrong. It's essential to consciously avoid nurturing unrealistic expectations that lead to stress, anxiety, and unhappiness if the anticipated satisfaction doesn't materialize.
Why do we fall into this trap in the first place?
Regardless of external influences, the real source of this tendency lies in our minds.
“What you’ll see is that your mind is always telling you that you have to change something outside in order to solve your inner problems.”
― Michael A. Singer
The mind is designed to operate on a false assumption that happiness is out there in the external world, in certain experiences or material gains.
Behind these veiled aspirations lies its real need for completeness and stability that is part of a state of harmony within and without. This harmony is a natural condition in which all of Life operates but like a dog chasing its tail, the mind searches for it in the wrong place.
Happiness is our birthright and it is the very essence of all life. But due to this inclination in our minds, we start our journeys by seeking pleasure in temporary phenomenal desires, not realizing their ephemeral nature.
This proclivity of the mind gives birth to the shadows of delusion and ignorance.
As briefly mentioned in our previous post on Shadow Work, delusion and ignorance are aspects of the ego identity that represent unconsciousness. They arise and perpetuate in our minds due to layers of past conditioning (i.e. limiting beliefs, perceptions, and habits)
To elaborate, delusion refers to the state of mind where we assume incorrectly that a future external outcome will provide contentment, fostering an attachment to it at the cost of joy in the present moment. It's similar to looking at a mirage and thinking it's real.
On the other hand, ignorance is the lack of awareness about what is the true source of everlasting bliss, or peace and what causes suffering.
More than the desire itself, attachment to these desires keeps us away from a life of full potential and denies access to present-moment happiness/peace/joy/love/bliss that is available to us right now.
Sometimes we don't even realize that a lot of our goals have a hidden underlying motivation for these forms of external validation. The current from these latent yearnings runs so strong that it influences our day-to-day behaviors, what we fill our time with, how we measure our "productivity" on the path of success, and primarily, what we define as success.
Even the pursuit of enlightenment or mental liberation could be coated with an underlying desire for fame completely unknown to oneself. Ironically, the mind may have thoughts, fantasizing about being admired by others for this noble achievement or becoming a spiritual leader as the end goal of enlightenment.
Of course, there is no judgment intended here but these reminders are a cue for us to become aware of similar thought patterns, prevalent in our mind.
The ego identity or the false image that is driving these outward movements is intended to keep us in the weeds of delusion and block us from embracing our true nature. But thankfully, the blueprint of all human lives invariably results in a recognition of the real strength within that is beyond all of these limitations.
How can we get out of this trap?
Does it mean we must dismiss every desire we have had related to our idea of success?
Not exactly.
In the below lines from the Bhagavad Gita (Chapter 2, Verse 47), Lord Krishna advises to perform one's actions or duties without being attached to its fruits i.e. their results.
कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन | मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि || 47 ||
karmaṇy-evādhikāras te mā phaleṣhu kadāchana mā karma-phala-hetur bhūr mā te saṅgo ’stvakarmaṇi
Being completely aligned with Life involves acting on our true needs, without fixating on the outcomes, finding joy in the process, detached from the consequences.
So the idea is not to give up on desires, but to recognize that it is not the outcome that will give us fulfillment ultimately, and even if our mind keeps forgetting this, finding ways to train and remind ourselves that present-moment enjoyment of the process or work itself is more important.
A pragmatic approach that we can take is to examine every single desire we have, to see what they represent, asking ourselves, "What is the genuine need underlying that desire?".
Desires are meant to be used as a guiding light towards joyful activity. To truly discover how we can spend our time valuably, how can we prioritize more joy and a state of presence in our lives.
Our individual financial and social circumstances in life may influence our goals, but it's equally our responsibility to use our free will to prioritize what truly matters to us. Utilizing this, we can make balanced decisions that drive our daily choices.
In this way, we can stop getting in our own way toward long-lasting satisfaction.
"Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming."
- John Wooden
Can you imagine chipping away at a piece of art without a care in the world about how it will shape up, what reactions it will awaken in the viewers, or how it will contribute to a desire for validation or material success?
The true desires behind this assumed need for "validation" are sound. If we engage in the fun behind the process without caring about where it will get us, whether it will win us some favors, or credits from others, then we are on the right track.
Some questions that may help us get clarity when we are caught in the trap
* We'll be using this symbol to suggest areas where you can choose to pause and actively practice the following steps
Get clear on what it is your desire gives you. Look at it from all angles. Have fun with this exercise.
List some desires that seem to be preventing you from lasting fulfillment. For each of these desires, reflect on the following:
Are you using the lack of fulfillment of those desires to keep you from experiencing happiness in the present moment?
Can you change your beliefs about it?
Are you truly lacking it?
If so, what will it get you when you receive it, and how and why do you think that will give you more happiness/peace/satisfaction?
Can you recognize that even if you do, it may likely be temporary?
If you are unable to answer some of these questions, that is ok too, there is no pressure here to have it perfectly answered. The key is to play with this process and just start becoming aware of your attachment to certain desires. Starting with that is half the job done.
Takeaways from this chapter
In conclusion, desires are a major part of the dynamic movement that is Life.
Life wants us to experience the fun, adventure, and joy that is inherent to its flow. As long as we exist, we will continue to have desire-driven thoughts. We can act on the desire as long as we remain detached from the outcome. This prevents lack-based motivations and is a step towards circumventing the shadows of delusion or ignorance.
Getting to know our desires more intimately and purging the distorted ones is a form of release or a process of distillation necessary to free ourselves from any mental conditioning rooted in past fears, beliefs, or perceptions that hinder us from aligning with life's natural harmony.
This allows us to act in line with our true needs at the moment, restoring our mental state to an original condition of peace/bliss/love, operating in a flow without clinging to results, similar to how nature operates.
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